I wish I could punch you in the face.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
