She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
