glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
