Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
