I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize