1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize