He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
