bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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