best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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