meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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