Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
