32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
