One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I had to cum in my sink.
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