I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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