please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
