Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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