dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
