i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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