omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
