i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
