so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
