it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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