So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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