if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
