so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
