Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
