If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
