I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
