just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
