I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Is it because I queefed?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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