Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize