how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
