I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
