i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
