That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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