Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
