Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
