I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
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