So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
