Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
