Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
