I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
