I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
