And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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