do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
