Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
