i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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