cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
someone owes me an orgasm
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.