so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
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He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
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Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C