I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO