Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
