I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
