Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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