Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
ttyl tear gas
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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