and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
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Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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