Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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