So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
