Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
