dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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