apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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