Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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