Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
