Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
