i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
