On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
