I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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