What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
