just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize