I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
