so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
