OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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