At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
